Dear Mrs Hollindrake, I hope you are feeling a little better. You did look pasty when we saw you but you had just taken an unfortunate tumble down a flight of stairs!
Shame what you’re missing though. We sailed on Wednesday morning after saying goodbye to you the night before, do you remember? Perhaps not; the painkillers were making you quite irrational and you were shouting strange things like
‘I hope you rot In hell’ and ‘How dare you steal my husband?’
I would never presume to do that of course, although I must say Graham is a lot of fun. When you unburdened yourself to me that time in the kitchen Mrs Hollindrake, you said he was staid and dull; set in his ways; well I can’t agree there. Last night after dinner we went dancing in the lounge bar and Graham was the life and soul of the party! He does a lovely quickstep and quite swept me off my feet. I am not sure about rejuvenating your marriage, but this cruise is already doing great things for me!
It was a bit awkward later when we got back to the cabin and faced the king sized bed but as we had had a few drinks and were dog tired, we just flopped down and slept like babes. Today, the sun is blazing on a sparkling sea. We had a brisk promenade before breakfast and are now sunbathing on the balcony, enjoying the sensation of the ship ploughing through the waves.
Your blue halterneck bikini is quite fetching you know. I do like your taste in clothes, not that I could afford them. It’s so fortunate that we are much the same size. Lucky me! Our cabin is lovely. The steward has just been in to deliver fresh towels and top up the ice bucket. Later, I am having a pedicure and massage while Graham enjoys the wine tasting. He already has a good grasp of the wine list as he demonstrated yesterday. Such a pity you don’t drink; but as I do, I can’t wait for this evening’s gourmet dinner.
There is so much to do on board. Tonight we shall see the variety show at the theatre – your favourite singer and that funny comedian you like. We will enjoy that, I think. Tomorrow the ship docks early so we want a quick breakfast and to get on shore as soon as possible. I never hoped to visit the Canary Islands, never mind South America. I am so excited. I shall be wearing your green cropped pants with that snazzy top you bought in Debenhams – not altogether my colour, as I am more of a brunette but not bad, especially as my tan is coming on.
Tomorrow evening we are dining at the Captain’s table, so that sparkly frock will be making an appearance…can’t wait. I shall tell you all about it in good time. Meanwhile, I hope the broken bones are on the mend. You wouldn’t enjoy it here with plaster casts on. Much too hot and sticky and the wheelchair would be cumbersome in this cabin space. Graham and I laugh about how we have to squeeze past each other to get into the bathroom at times. Good job we get on so well. Never mind, you rest and I shall look after Graham for a few weeks , which reminds me, as I won’t be mopping your parquet floor for a while, you might want to ask Jean. She ‘does’ at number 27.
Such a shame you slipped on that wet patch. Still, it’s fortunate I was available to take your place, so Graham wouldn’t get lonely! Got to go now. Room service has arrived with lunch. Yum.
BFN and get well soon, Beattie, x