I read your letter with interest and will answer as honestly as I can. At first I was surprised that you had contacted me by letter but it obviously makes sense.
You complain that you are not sleeping well and are suffering a degree of paranoia. I have to disagree with your diagnosis of paranoia as the true definition is ‘an irrational feeling that people are out to get you and possibly physically harm you’. I can quite understand that people might actually wish to abuse you mentally or physically. So any treatment I might advise for paranoia simply won’t work as your thoughts are not irrational and in no way exaggerated.
Anti-anxiety drugs, psychotherapy or relaxation therapy may help lessen the symptoms and thus help you sleep but the under-lying problem isn’t going to go away. Anti-depressants may be an alternative approach. Personally I believe you are doing the best you can by heading for some sun and keeping your creative mind busy writing a book. An additional action you could take is to show some remorse over your actions and behaviour, though I think at this stage it will have little impact on people’s feelings towards you.
I am bemused by the comparison you make between yourself and your friend DJ. You state that you can’t understand why he is not suffering from the same symptoms. Well I think this is one area of your situation where you can take some small comfort.
If you are not suffering from paranoia, in order for you to be in fear of harm, you have to acknowledge you have done something inappropriate deserving of revenge. If you have neither a conscience nor a reasonable degree of intelligence you will very rarely agree you’ve done anything wrong. So please take heart that I know you do at least have a degree of intelligence unlike your friend.
So, in summary I don’t feel you are paranoid, you may well suffer real mental or physical harm if you raise your head above the parapet as you will be reviled for your actions for quite a while to come. If you do want to take the anti-depressants I advice you get a supply whilst you are in France as should you return to the UK you may find them in short supply either because so many of the population will be needing them or we may be struggling to import them across the Channel.
Unfortunately for your friend there is no medical intervention I can suggest other than the same for you but in all honesty I believe he is beyond help as he is completely delusional about even having a problem, so will never seek help.
All I can say to you both is Good Luck but I have a suspicion that many of us will need that much more than either of you.